Sometimes we fall apart
- Admin
- Jun 22
- 3 min read
Sande Hart

I failed miserably yesterday. With very unfortunate news caused by the course of another that cost me dearly, I lost my grace. I immediately (within a second) heard myself say, "This is for the better, something better wants to happen." Unfortunately, a nano second before that I had flipped my lid. My sympathetic nervous system was supercharged and I was in full-on primitive brain. I was looking down on myself and witnessing this body of dysregulation and yet I could not reach her. She was long gone. It took me hours to calm down and I could not understand why. I did my breathing. (I also was operating on 4 hours sleep and hangry at that.) I located in my body where I was storing this. I acknowledged the root of why I was so upset.Then I looked deeper. I got it. It was about control and an unreasonable expectation that people do their job. But regardless of the root trigger, it was not enough to warrant my reaction. There is no condition where that reaction was defensible. I have been triggered before. This was different. I went for the nuclear button.
I called in my angels and ancestors for help. And then a call came in and revealed why it all happened. That "something better" disclosed itself. Indeed I was being protected. Indeed I dodged a bullet. Indeed my angels and ancestors helped by rushing the better news to me Code Blue! Indeed it had to happen so I did not make that mistake.
I do not recall such an incident, such an assault on my heart, soul, and nervous system in modern era, and especially since I have been studying, writing, and professing the science, psychology, and philosophy around regulating the nervous system, living in grace, raising our vibration to the frequency of trust, etc. While this situation (and it really doesn't matter the details) has been a really emotional rollercoaster, yesterday my car flew off the track in the loop-de-loop, I had every tool and skill to navigate it but my body had a different plan.
It reminded me how delicate we are, and we fall apart. We post positivity, teach it, promote it all and we mean it. We get it. We subscribe to it, but still we can fall apart sometimes.
Herein is where grace for ourselves matter. Perhaps we have to fall apart to put ourselves back together in a stronger and more resilient manner. The light is so bright and the veil is so thin that energies can go wonky if we are not careful. In all honesty, I have no idea what I could have done to prepare for this, other than a full night's sleep and a solid breakfast. But it’s OK. I had to fall apart to break open, see more clearly the parts that need my attention and get honest with myself. Sometimes it takes a surgical procedure to clear a wound. Then we heal with the good medicine of grace.
Be gentle with your self. We are so accessible because we are the light0workers and we are here to do this work, especially on ourselves. Those roots are also your beautiful parts. Love them back into wholeness.
Be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with others. It's OK to fall apart.
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